Symbiotic
by LoveforPenandDerek
Summary: They have learned how to live mainly solitary lives but can they learn how to make a life together? Reid and Prentiss.
1. Chapter 1

**Premise- They could both live this life in solitary style or else they could choose to live it together to both their mutual benefit. Prentiss and Reid.**

Note- _This is a version of how Emily's story could have went during season six if Criminal Minds did romantic storylines, which I think they could. The show "Bones" does lots of romance and to me the show is all the better for it. _

_Only one thing changes from what was shown on Criminal Minds concerning Emily's storyline with Doyle: in this she went out with Reid to the movies the week before Doyle came back into her life. We pick up after Emily was hurt in her fight with Doyle_...

**Symbiotic**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter One**

Tap, tap, tap, his foot patted the floor at a pace of thirty- three taps per minute. It had been 227 minutes since he entered this room (three hours and forty seven minutes). His foot had tapped the floor 7,491 times so far.

7,492.

7,493.

There are 16 squares on each ceiling tile and 44 ceiling tiles in the waiting room so there are 704 squares on the ceiling. Garcia has been slightly rocking back and forth for the last seven minutes and eight seconds. At her present rate of rocking, she will rock back and forth 1, 599 times in one hour.

Those kind of thoughts filled Dr. Spencer Reid's mind as the BAU team anxiously waited to hear if Emily had survived her surgery.

It was easier to think of mathematical equations than to remember her...the day she first walked into work with that nervous smile playing on her lips, the time she tried to help him with his drug addiction but he wouldn't let her, when she took a beating for Reid and then comforted Reid afterwards as if Reid had been the one who was more hurt, how she was the only person who had ever beat him at poker, the unexpected feelings they stumbled onto just three weeks ago...no, he wouldn't think of any of that.

He couldn't. It hurt too much. His headache pounded worse when he thought of any of that.

And when he thought of how Emily had shut him out of all this- kept the fact that an unsub was coming after her from the team- it pissed Reid off so much that he was sure he would never forgive her, that whatever they almost had together was never going to turn into anything more serious. The light that started to come into his quiet, small life had been snuffed out leaving him back in the cold, dark again.

He knew how to survive all alone. He could handle that. It was safer that way, actually. But for a while there he, damn it, had thought that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't have to live out the rest of his life like that.

For a little while there Emily had him thinking that maybe they had lucked into something. For six days, twenty one hours and twelve minutes- between the moment she had said she would go to the movie with him and the moment she had told him it wasn't a good night to have dinner together- he had felt different than he felt in all his life before.

And then she started to blow him off, pull away, act secretive but tell him it was all okay. Reid had wondered if she was sensing he was keeping the secret of his headaches from her, that maybe she felt like he didn't trust her and wasn't open enough, so he had went ahead and confessed about them.

But it didn't make her tell him her secret. No, she kept that all to her damn self. Handled it the Emily Prentiss way- alone.

And now look where they had ended up. With her on a cold table, naked, surrounded by doctors who were trying to stem her internal bleeding. If they couldn't her heart rate would drop until it stilled...and she died.

The average healthy adult heart beats between 70 and 75 beats per minute. The average woman in the United States lives to be eighty years old and her heart beats, on average, 8,352, 000 times in her lifetime.

"Are any of you here for Emily Prentiss?" the doctor asked, as he walked into the room, pulling off his surgical cap and letting out a tired sigh.

"Yes!" Garcia chirped, jumping out of her seat.

"That's us," Ashley said, quickly, hurrying from her seat, as did all of the members of the team, hopeful looks on their faces.

Reid held his breath as he searched the doctor's face. His anger and frustration with Emily meant nothing compared to how much he wanted her to be alright, no matter if they never went on another date or even talked about that week ever again.

All that mattered was her life. Surviving this. All that he cared about was that she didn't give her life to try and protect all of them.

He didn't want a hero who saved him. He wanted a friend who he could still talk to.

The doctor said "She's stable for now but its going to be a while before she's back to duty."

Everyone let out a sigh of relief. Morgan took Garcia into his arms, Hotch smiled slightly, JJ whispered "Thank God," and Rossi said "That's our tough girl."

Reid hurried from the room. JJ chased after him. "Spence!"

"I just need some air, okay?"

She nodded, her eyes filled with worry. Touching his arm she said "We were all scared."

"Why did she do it this way? Doesn't she know what it would do to all of us if she died because she wouldn't let us help her?"

"Emily has a hard time letting people in, you know that. Its just her way."

"Its bull!" He stormed off, his lungs burning and head still throbbing. Outside the hospital he sat on a bench and let out a long breath.

She had survived. He was happy but still he was so mad at her. He had hoped that if she just survived that would be enough to take away the anger but it hadn't worked.

He felt betrayed. She hadn't trusted him. It hurt. It hurt because how could what he had felt for her had meant anything at all to her, how could she have felt anything similar, if she couldn't turn to him when someone had been trying to kill her?

If Emily didn't trust him in a moment like that, need him in a moment like that, then Spencer Reid had to conclude he was just fooling himself by ever thinking those six days meant anything at all to her.

He was a fool when it came to her. Thinking he could have fallen in love with her had been a mistake. She didn't trust him or need him. She wanted to do it all alone and that is not the way that love works.

Spencer Reid might not know much about love but he knew that much.

He put his face in his hands as he let himself remember those days now. Finally he let the memories he had held at bay since the moment they found Emily's credentials in her desk drawer wash over him- let each laughter, smile, kiss, hug, whisper, caress, joke, touch play through his head again.

An eidetic memory can make things much worse on a man sometimes because now he can remember so clearly what feels lost to him for good now- the closest he had ever come to love.


	2. Chapter 2

**Symbiotic**

**Note- This story is inspired by the song "Two is Better than One" by Boys Like Girls featuring Taylor Swift.**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Two**

"Ready to blow this popsicle stand?" Derek asked Emily as he walked into her hospital room, eight days after she had got out of surgery.

She was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking out the nearby window. Twisting to look over her shoulder at Derek, she grimaced as a sharp pain hit her at her incision.

"You drew the short straw and got stuck having to ferry the invalid home?"

"Yep."

"You were supposed to say: its no trouble at all."

Flashing her a smile full of perfect white teeth and charm he assured "Its my pleasure."

"Yeah, sure."

"Oh, Miss Cranky Pants today, huh? Come on, Prentiss, smile! You get to get away from this place finally. Some people would be happy if they were in your shoes, just a thought on a way to play this."

She sighed. "I _am_ happy."

"You hide it well under that grumpy frown." He walked over and touched her arm, growing more serious. "I know you're probably still in pain but you're getting stronger each day. You're a fighter. That's how you made it through what would have killed a lesser person. I'm so proud of you."

"Oh, God, do not get mushy. I wish Hotch would have come pick me up instead. Hotch never gets mushy."

"I feel the love, Prentiss. Thanks."

She gave him a small smile. The nurse came in with the wheelchair, a cheery smile on her lips. "So are you ready to head home?"

"I don't need that thing."

"Sorry," the nurse apologized " but it's hospital regulations."

"Couldn't we just _say _I used it? No one will know the-"

"Prentiss," Morgan ordered "get in the wheelchair and shut your mouth. Stop giving this gorgeous nurse a hard time."

The nurse giggled. Emily rolled her eyes. She knew her mood left a lot to be desired but she couldn't help it.

Almost every team mate had come to visit her, her mother and cousin Abigail (who lived in DC with her congressman husband) had come, and a few of Emily's friends from the gym (she worked out early in the morning on the days she was in town) had come by. Those women were her only friends outside of her co-workers, since her life didn't leave a lot of room for meeting people or maintaining friendships.

But the one person she had wanted to see most had stayed away.

Dr. Spencer Reid hadn't so much as stuck his head in the door to say "Glad you're still alive and kicking." He hadn't done any weird magic tricks to keep her spirits up or spent half an hour rambling about the statistics of post-surgical infections.

He didn't even send flowers or a card. He had sent bupkiss, as Emily's grandma used to say, which meant absolutely nothing.

When everything had started with Doyle Emily knew she had shut Reid out. It had been a way to protect him and to protect herself too. Because if anything had happened to him she wouldn't have known how to live with the guilt.

A part of her had feared that when this was all over she either wouldn't survive or it would be too late to make things work with Reid again. That their small foray into romance would become just a handful of memories too painful to dwell on.

And it looks like she had been right about that.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Emily groaned a little under her breath when she looked through the peephole and saw who had arrived at her apartment unannounced. Over the last two weeks she hadn't seen very much of her team, though some called and left voicemails and others sent texts or emails.

She was avoiding everyone as she stayed mostly inside her apartment, recovering from her injuries and trying to get used to the fact of what her life was now. Everyone knew she had slept with an unsub, broken regulations at work, and her messy personal secrets had been exposed for way too many prying eyes. Her former teammates, except for Clyde, were murdered by Doyle's men.

Some days she wondered why she had survived. Why she deserved to live more than Jason or Sia but she knew she didn't deserve her life anymore than they had deserved theirs. She hadn't been smarter or braver or more worthy. She just got lucky.

Emily knew she should feel thrilled to be alive but instead she was out of sorts. The life that she had before a couple months back now seemed like one that didn't feel comfortable anymore. It fit like a too small coat- choking and suffocating her as she struggled against the tight confines of a life that was lived mainly in solitude.

She was used to that. Used to being on her own. Used to bad dates and failed relationships. Used to relying on herself the most, not needing a man to complete her. She knew how to live this way so why did it feel so uncomfortable now?

Why had she let just a week of dating Spencer Reid make her this weak thing that needed someone?

A chirpy voice trilled in the hallway, singing its sentence instead of speaking it, "I know you're in there, Ms. EP!"

Emily pulled open the door. "Garcia, hey."

Penelope breezed inside. "Don't be mad that I didn't call first. We both know if I did you would just make some excuse to keep me away because that is your MO these days and today, my sweet, I could not be deterred. You need to taste Garci's awesome, homemade, better than your Mama makes, slap your Granny chicken soup with whole wheat noodles!"

They headed for the kitchen with Penelope prattling on about work and everyone missing Prentiss.

With a frown tugging at her lips Emily said "They'll have to get used to that feeling. My damn doctor says he won't release me for duty for a couple of months. Months! What am I supposed to do for months without work?"

"Write your memoirs?"

Emily made a disgusted sound.

Penelope went on "You're pale. After you eat up a bowl of my delicious, from my heart, homemade health remedy we should go for a walk in the beautiful sunshine. Get some color back in your cheeks."

"Pass."

"Em-"

"Garcia, thank you for stopping but I'm not really up for entertaining right now-"

"I don't need to be entertained. I'm not company. I'm family."

"I know but-"

A sad look came over Penelope's face. "You can't just hide away in here for the next couple months, you know? You need us and we need our Emily the Great."

"I doubt Strauss thinks I'm so great after what I pulled."

Penelope crinkled her nose. "I was referring to the wicked witch of the west. Besides Rossi handled her. You don't gotta worry about her when you come back."

"If I come back then I guess that's good."

"What do you mean _if?_ You're leaving us?"

Emily sighed. "It won't be the same again if I go back. Not after all that happened. My reputation is trashed."

"Who cares about what people gossip? I think it was pretty bad ass that you went against that international man of nasty all by your lonesome. Just don't ever do anything like that again because you took years off my life with worrying me. And I think I got a few gray hairs over it too and you know that is practically unforgivable. I gotta keep this package in tip top shape for my many male admirers."

Emily let out a mirthless chuckle at that, feeling a little better despite her usually lousy temperament these days.

After they warmed up the soup and started to have lunch together Penelope asked "So if I was to do a search of this apartment would I find a stray pair of boxers on the floor somewhere?"

The look Emily gave her said it all.

Penelope deflated. "He's been so quiet and secretive lately that I was hoping he was keeping your hot and heavy affair under wraps. He looks tired to so I figured maybe you were feeling up to some all night, to the break of dawn loving, no?"

"Not even close. I haven't talked to Reid since before I got injured."

A hand flew to cover Penelope's heart in shock. "That...that...that..._man_," she said the last word like a slur. "What is his problem?"

"Come on, look what I did. I lied to everyone, put all of you in danger. You should all be pissed at me."

"Oh, we all are but we love you and we know you did it to try to protect us the best you could. Just don't ever shut us out again."

"I guess Reid doesn't feel the same about me anymore. Can't say I blame him either."

"Em-"

"Just drop it, please."

"But you two were so good together-"

"We barely got started. Don't over romanticize it!"

"All I'm saying is I remember how happy you were. You were walking on air that whole week."

"_Week_, Garcia. It was just a_ week_. This isn't junior high. A week long of dating doesn't change anyone's life at our age."

"If it's a week of dating the right person it does. And Reid is that man for you. You can't make me forget the way your face lit up when you told me he had taken you dancing-"

"Stop! I said stop it! Or else you can just leave. I won't have you making it into more than it was. It was a few dates. That's it! And now its over and done. I really don't give a damn what you think it could have been. It was never gonna be anything life changing. Give me a break. I'm too old for buying into fairytales and besides this is Reid we're talking about here. Reid. He's just a friend to me, that's it. Whatever you think you know that says otherwise, you're wrong."

"I've never seen you get so intense about any other ex of yours before."

"He's not an ex! He's nothing more than a friend to me! God, Garcia, please. I love you but please stop being you for right now. Stop believing that everyone can find their perfect someone because for most people relationships are a messed up joke and nothing more. If you have something better than that with Kevin then good for you but I'm not you. Most people just settle because they are afraid to be alone. I'm not afraid of my own company. I'm good alone. Got it?"

Penelope gave her a hurt look. "Maybe life isn't a fairytale with princes and knights but everyone needs someone and settling is sometimes better than another lonely night wishing you hadn't been so stubborn but that's just my take on it. I won't say another word about it."

"Somehow I doubt that." Emily then paused, realized how harsh she sounded and added "I'm sorry." She sighed. A long moment passed. She looked away as she spoke, remembering something that happened weeks before, "He told me how surprised he was that he could feel more for me." Emily let out a sad chuckle. "I was like "Thanks, Reid," as if it was so out of this world to think he could fall for me. For him it was though. He called it a happy surprise. He'd never thought of us like that before...I just let him think I hadn't either."

"You should call him."

"I'm not calling him. Change of subject, please."

"EP-"

"So is JJ having a party for Will's birthday next month?"

Penelope sighed and let the conversation change, for which Emily was grateful. With each day that went by Emily wanted to get healthy, go back to how she was before all this started, but instead she grew more lonely, more pissed, more hurt and disappointed.

She would never admit it aloud right now but it was tearing her apart to be back in her quiet life- unable to forget that week when everything was so much more, her week with Spencer Reid.


	3. Chapter 3

**Symbiotic**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Three**

He was surprised when she came up to the team's table at the restaurant. They had decided to grab dinner after coming home from a case on a Thursday night. Spencer probably wouldn't have come if he knew Emily would show up.

It had been six weeks since she was injured.

All that time he had avoided her, though he knew he would have to see her and speak to her again. After all, she'd come back to work eventually and then they'd go back to their professional relationship with hopefully no mention they had ever let things drift anywhere else. He knew the day would come when he had to face her again.

But he wasn't prepared for today to be that day.

As she greeted everyone Reid kept quiet, just watching her slide into her seat. She avoided his eyes as she gave everyone a small smile and said "PG insisted I come tonight or else she promised swift payback. I figured I better not chance it."

"Smart girl," Rossi murmured, as they all laughed.

Fifty six minutes later Reid sat in his car alone. With a shaky hand he took a pill out of a bottle and swallowed it down dry. Laying his head back he closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing.

He had managed to get through dinner without speaking to Emily at all but it had been uncomfortable. His damn eidetic memory kept replaying a certain kiss they had shared over and over as he had sat there picking at his dinner.

_Raising a hand he covered his mouth as he yawned, while standing outside the door of her apartment. "Sorry."_

_She smiled slightly and joked. "You should be. How can you be ready for bed already? Its not like you spent the last three days chasing a pack of serial killers or anything."_

"_But I did...oh, right."_

_She rolled her eyes and chuckled at how he had a hard time catching onto sarcasm. He loved the way she was looking at him right then...with a certain lovingness in her eyes that didn't use to be there last week. A certain extra something that Reid was beginning to find himself not just enjoying but getting attached to._

_Even though they had been on a case since Tuesday they hadn't let that stop them from spending time together- exploring what had been changing between them since last Sunday night. They got together for drinks each night during this last case. It gave them a chance to be alone together, to flirt and chat and kiss and even dance at the hotel bar._

_Usually their job made it hard to date and Spencer always had thought dating a co-worker would be kind of messy (even though for a long time he had wanted that messy, crazy, emotional type of thing with JJ until he finally let the fantasy go). With Emily though, at least so far, it was exceedingly convenient that they worked together._

_He would have hated to spend this week away from her- feeling like he did right now. Every moment he was away from her now she nearly consumed his thoughts. That is why they had went to dinner tonight even though they were both exhausted after a long flight home from Seattle._

"_Thanks for a great dinner, Spencer," Emily said, emphasizing his given name in this way that she had started to do a few days before._

"_Thank you for sharing it with me." He gave her a small smile, soaking in the image of her shining eyes, her flawless skin, her soft lips before he had to leave her for the night. "I should get going. Being sleep deprived is one of the leading causes of driver inattention and accidents_."

"_Well we can't have that," she teased him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him close to her, while using her other hand to reach behind her and open the already unlocked door. Their lips met in a kiss as they stumbled inside._

_She had to quickly break away, chuckling softly, to move to the alarm and disarm it. He nibbled on her neck while she did so, his hands on her hips, loving the feel of her body pressing back against his._

"_You better just sleep over," Emily had insisted._

_His body hardened at the thought; his eyes popped open wide and his mind whirled with thoughts about if it was too soon for this. He wouldn't turn her down though. Without a shadow of a doubt, he did want to be with her._

_Emily turned around in his arms. _

"_Just to sleep," she clarified, then laughed when his face fell. She pulled his head down some and nibbled on the corner of his lips, speaking against his lips. "Since you're so tired and all," she joked._

"_Actually I'm not that tired anymore."_

_She let out a whoop of amused laughter, her eyes dancing with joy as she took his hand and pulled him along to the bedroom, where they did just sleep that night. _

Two days later is when she started to blow him off.

That kiss at her door somehow is the one that is stuck in his mind. The feel of her grabbing him and pulling him near, the excitement and happiness at being together. Knowing she was feeling it too. The surprise and joy in him at how things were changing for them.

It was the feeling of that moment that best described how he remembered that week of his life when he was dating Emily Prentiss. That feeling that ate him now because it was gone from his life.

Sometimes he blamed himself for this empty feeling inside of himself; sometimes he blamed her; sometimes he tried to just not think about it but that never worked.

Spencer could forgive Emily for most of the choices she had made concerning Ian Doyle but what he couldn't seem to get past was the fact that she hadn't trusted him. Without trust, how could there be love?

There couldn't be and that is why he had to just come to accept that he would never kiss her again.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Fishing sucks," Emily told Rossi as they sat in a small row boat on the lake behind his cabin.

"I thought you have wonderful memories of being in the great outdoors with your grandfather during your childhood."

"I do but that doesn't mean I like sitting around holding a stick in water. I can't believe you talked me into spending a weekend out here. Do you really like_ this?_"

"Its relaxing and if anyone needs that right about now, its you."

"Well thank you for saying I'm tightly wound."

"Comes with the territory after what you've been through."

"Oh, I see what _this _is. You've got me out here so you can grill me. Did Garcia put you up to this? I can't go a day without her trying to pry into my feelings," she said the last word like a slur. "News flash: I survived and I'm over it."

"Yeah, you seem real over it."

She sighed and stared into the distance.

After a minute Rossi said "It will take time to get back to feeling like yourself. Give yourself that time. For now, we fish."

Emily sighed again and tried to relax. It wasn't easy. She just felt off kilter all the time now. Like there was nothing in the whole world to look forward to anymore.

Shamefully, sometimes she did think: _I survived for this? Its not worth it._

XXXXXXXXX

The days went by with Emily struggling to get her health back to full strength so she could pass her fitness for duty test at work. She would go jogging every day around 11 am through the park, going a little further each day, and go to the gym for an hour each afternoon. Friends invited her to lunch, dinners and parties but for the most part she begged off, making excuses until one of her team mates would force her into spending a few hours with one of them.

As April slipped into May she stopped feeling sorry for herself and started to get really pissed off that her life had taken such a horrible turn. If Ian Doyle wasn't dead she would really like to beat him to death- maybe that would make her feel better but probably not.

Frustration filled her. She knew she needed to just get past the events of those days that had turned her life upside down. It was time to move on but Emily found that a hard thing to do.

One of her friends from the gym said she wanted to set Em up with a man. Emily turned her down and when Emily hung up her phone she reached for Sergio, stroking her cat tenderly.

"You're all the male I need in my life," she told him, trying her best to believe it.

There was still, and probably always would be, that part of her that would wonder what her and Spencer would be doing right now if Ian Doyle never came around. And it was that wondering how far her and Spencer would have gotten- how happy they could have been- that hurt the most in the quiet moments when she let herself go there in her mind.

Most moments now she didn't think of him...it never led anywhere good when she did anymore. That was the saddest thing of all, Emily believed. She couldn't even think of her friend without a flood of emotions she didn't want to have taking her over.

Still she wouldn't give up that week for anything, even not suffering now, because that week had made her feel like a different version of herself, a better, more beautiful, funnier, smarter, luckier Emily Prentiss.

Every woman should know that feeling at least once in her life. She never had felt it before Spencer kissed her.

XXXXXX

**Author note-** _Next chapter Em and Reid talk to each other again_.


	4. Chapter 4

**Note- **_Though I don't write much angst, this story is angst so expect misery until they work things out.__Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing. Its very hard to get my muse to write anything these days. My desire to write is still at 100 but my muse is at around 3, so its tough_**.**

**Symbiotic**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Four**

_Would it ever stop being awkward to see Spencer_? Emily wondered at Will LaMontange's birthday party.

JJ's house was filled with people but it didn't keep Emily and Reid from ending up near each other at odd moments: like when everyone gathered to sing Happy Birthday and when Emily went into the dining room to get another glass of wine.

She found herself watching him whenever he was near- especially his lips; the lips that had kissed her, that had said words that made her feel loved. Each time her thoughts wondered there again, she would drink another glass of wine fast to ease the burning in her chest.

Soon she was way past tipsy.

The alcohol helped to make things blurry but it didn't really help to ease the hurt. It just dulled it. But right about now dull was better than the sharp, intense, ache she had felt when she first saw Spencer tonight.

"_Oh! Hey, Reid," she had said, when she walked into the kitchen and found him there._

"_JJ asked me to get this cheese platter. Excuse me." He hurried away._

"_Sure," she muttered, watching him go._

Yes, dull was much better, indeed, and so the wine kept flowing.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Spence, there you are!" JJ trilled out, finding him on the back deck, sitting alone in the dark. "Thank you for coming tonight. I know parties aren't your thing."

She sat on the edge of the wooden Adirondack chair he was sitting in. JJ asked "Another headache?"

"No, not tonight."

"Oh." A moment passed. "So Emily looks good tonight, doesn't she? All recovered. I love her new hair cut too. She looks good with short hair, doesn't she?"

"She cut her hair?"

"Five inches! Don't tell me you didn't notice that?"

He gave her a blank look. He had noticed but he liked messing with his friends sometimes.

JJ smiled softly at Reid and ruffled his hair. "What am I gonna do with you?"

"Leave me to sit out here in peace?"

"Not a chance, buster." She grabbed his arm and dragged him back inside. He did his best to try to enjoy himself but felt odd the whole evening, knowing Emily was so nearby.

He was glad when the party started to break up and he could say "I'm gonna head home, you guys."

Morgan clamped a hand on Reid's shoulder. "You know, kid, Prentiss could use a ride and since you haven't been drinking..."

A silence filled the air. Not sure what else to say Reid said "Um, all right."

A while later they were in the car and heading home. Emily told him "I really could have gotten a cab."

"Its fine."

In her drunken state she had been loudly proclaiming "I can get a cab!" in JJ's driveway in the most slurred voice he had ever heard come out of her, as Morgan all but forced her into Reid's car.

They rode in silence for a while, with Emily just staring at Reid, until she reached out, twirling her fingers in his hair. It didn't feel anything like when JJ had ruffled his hair earlier that evening.

Shivers raced down his spine at the feel of Emily playing with his hair.

"I like how you're growing it out again!" she chirped in her drunken, happy tone.

"Oh, yeah, um, I like what you've done with your hair too."

Self consciously she touched her hair. "Its too short. I don't know what I was thinking. Moment of weakness, I guess. God knows those get me in nothing but trouble. Ha! But you already know that, don't you, _Spencer_?"

He gripped the steering wheel tighter, ignoring her and wishing that the miles to her house would pass quickly.

She prodded him "Don't get mad. I was just teasing. Can't you take a joke?"

"Was that a joke? I didn't find it too funny."

"Really? I think the whole thing is harlirious. I actually can't stop laughing every time I think about how I really thought you'd be different than every other asshole I ever got with."

"You're drunk, Emily."

"God knows I need to be! My life sucks."

"Well who's fault is that?" he spat out before he could stop himself.

"Oh, thanks, Reid. Gee, thanks! I really need you reminding me how I screwed up my career, my health and US! Thanks! You rock for throwing that in my face and, oh by the way, thank you for ruining my buzz kill. I should have walked home."

"You can barely walk right now. For a woman your size-"

"Oh God, don't start."

"You could get alcohol poisoning with all you drank tonight. If you think that's smart then far be it from me to tell you anything. I know how you like to run your own life without turning to anyone."

"Just twist the knife a little more. Go ahead. I'm all healed so I can take a few more stabs now!"

That shut him up for the rest of the ride. He got out of the car to walk her up but she screamed at him "Don't bother! I got this. I'm good!"

But then she fell into his arms, after tripping on the curb. Emily landed with a soft thud. A rush of memories came back of that day when he waited at the hospital to hear if she would live or die. The warmth of her body against his was something he didn't want to let go right away.

Spencer buried his face against the crook of her neck. After a moment she wrapped her arms around him, grasping him with all her might. They stood there, holding each other, for a long moment.

"Come up," she mumbled against his shirt.

Even knowing how hard it was for a woman like Emily to break down and ask for anything...let alone something like this...Reid didn't feel like it would be right to sleep together under these circumstances. They weren't in a good place with each other right now and he wasn't sure if they ever would be again.

He moved back a little. "I'll walk you up."

Her head titled to the side and she gave him a look filled with hurt. For a long moment they stood there in silence before reached down, ripped off her heels and proceeded to head upstairs barefoot, with Reid silently following her.

She went into her apartment, closed and locked the door without saying another word to him. He leaned against the wall, feeling very tired and confused. Over the last several months, when his headaches plagued him, he had sometimes thought it was best that he wasn't dating Emily since he may have schizophrenia and this was she wouldn't have to be stuck with a sick boyfriend.

But the truth was that was just something he told himself to try and make himself feel like maybe things had worked out for the best after all. When in truth it hurt to have gotten so close to Emily before Doyle came around...to have gotten so close to love...to be so far away from it now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Five**

"So Hotch said that all of us will be asked if we want to stay with the team or not," Ashley told Emily, as they had dinner at a tapas bar on evening. "Garcia seemed pretty freaked about it. Especially after Hotch said that the New York office really wants Morgan."

"I could just imagine."

"I'm not sure I want to stay in the BAU."

"You aren't the only one."

Surprised, Ashley asked "You too? I would have figured you were eager to get back, get things back to how they used to be."

"That's the thing, I'm not sure it can ever be anything like it was. Face it, I blew up my career when I didn't report contact with Doyle. The way I handled that whole thing...its more than a black mark on my record with the agency. Sometimes I think I should just leave and start fresh somewhere else."

"God, Garcia will hate to hear that. I don't think she does change well."

"Yeah, some people can't stand change. Me? Its all I've ever known. I never stay in any one place too long. Maybe I've been at the BAU long enough now."

"Won't you miss everyone? All I've heard since I joined the team is how everyone is not just co-workers, they're a family."

"I hope you didn't feel like you weren't a part of that family. I know its hard when you're the new person. That was me five years ago and it sucked. I was so eager to please and be accepted, prove myself."

"For the most part I did feel welcome. Rossi has been great and, of course, I would be still making an idiot of myself every case, if I was even still on the team, without all the help you gave me. And Reid's been great too lately."

"Oh yeah?"

Ashley smiled shyly. "We're just friends, I swear."

"Oh! Um, its not like I care one way or the other. I don't. Reid can be interested in whoever he wants. All I wish is that I hadn't been so eager to tell you and Garcia how hot for him I was last winter. Now I feel like a real jackass."

"Don't. If it helps any I think he misses you just as much as you miss him."

"Sure. I just bet. I don't want to talk about him. That was a week long fling, better left forgotten. So if you leave the BAU where would you like to end up?"

They kept chatting, as Emily tried to pretend she didn't feel the burn of jealousy course through her at the idea that Reid was going out of his way to mentor or be friendly to Ashley. Logically she knew Reid didn't date much so the odds of him dating Ashley were slim but logic didn't help much when she was feeling sick with envy that Ashley got to spend more time with Reid than she did these days.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The tension between Reid and Prentiss when she finally made it back to work was thick enough to cut with a knife. Most times they were just polite to each other but a few times they ended up snipping at each other.

Dealing with that all day made her tense and miserable, leaving her wondering why she even wanted to work on the team anymore. It was clear it would never be the same again after Doyle.

After a couple of weeks the tension started to fizzle away. Emily wondered if that was even worse because that change seemed to mark the end of her hope that her and Spencer would get into a yelling fight that ended up making them both admit they hated things like this.

When the tension eased it started to seem like he just didn't even care enough to be mad anymore. Sometimes she would watch him chatting up Ashley and wonder if he had feelings for her. Other times she would just hate on herself for all she felt...the jealousy, the emptiness, the hurt, the loss.

Emily wanted to be in control of all her emotions, keep them in check like a tight little ball inside of her that no one knew about, but all she felt for Reid made her feel out of control.

For a long time before they had ever kissed she had wanted to kiss him, to sleep with him, to make him see her as a woman and not just a co-worker. Then she got over the idea a little bit, realizing it wasn't likely to happen, and then he went and asked her out, kissed her, made her feel more than any man ever had before.

He went and started something that, now that it was over so damn quickly, felt like it had a better chance of killing her, because she knew what it felt like and lost it, than her injuries or Ian Doyle ever had.

Plenty of time she angrily silently ordered herself to "_Just get over it and get on with your life_," but the feelings came back time and again. When she was near him, when she was away from him, it didn't matter she was always thinking, remembering, longing for him.

One day, during a case in June, the team was sitting around a table in a police station when Reid suddenly winced in pain and brought his fingers of both hands up to his temples, squeezing his eyes closed.

Emily rushed to his side, kneeling next to him, "Reid, is it your headaches?"

Jaw clenched in pain, he gritted out "I'm okay. I'm okay. I just need a pill."

Fumbling in his pocket he pulled out the bottle but had a hard time opening it.

Morgan volunteered "I'll get you some water," and rushed out of the room.

Emily opened the bottle for Reid and fed him a pill. Then she cupped his face, tenderly caressing him, staring deep into his eyes, his pain filled gaze meeting hers. She ached to be able to do something to help him.

Soon Morgan came back, gave Reid the glass and Reid sipped his water. The intense moment of pain dulled a little for him and they went back to working on their case, but Emily couldn't help sneaking glances at him for the rest of the day. She worried for his health but knew he wouldn't let her close enough to tell him even that much.

Now they were just colleagues now.

XXXXXXXX

Weeks later Reid brought up his health problems to Prentiss. They were working a case, alone together in a room in a police station looking at a bulletin board. Their unsub for this case was suffering a psychotic break.

He said "For a while I worried this would end up being me one day. I was afraid I had schizophrenia but the doctors insist I don't. My migraines are all stress related. They suggest I take a break from work."

"Oh...why haven't you?"

"What else would I do if I wasn't here? All those hours to fill."

"Yeah...you could travel."

"Alone? I guess I could. Maybe someday."

"I was going to visit Italy last winter but I never got around to it. I ended up getting a lot of time off that I spent just moping around my apartment- whoop de do, huh?"

"Whoop de huh?"

She chuckled. "Nothing, Reid, its just an expression. It means big freaking deal."

"Oh." Then he looked at the board, realized an important discovery about the case, and announced it, drawing them back into conversation about work.

Emily realized it was the first time Reid shared something personal with her in months. It left her staring at him with an amazed, hopeful look on her face as he rambled about the case.


	6. Chapter 6

**Symbiotic**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Six **

A couple more weeks went by when things were slightly better between them until one night when Spencer was home alone, waiting for Morgan to pick him up for dinner on a Sunday evening.

Morgan was late, which wasn't unusual for him. He spent more time than Garcia in front of the mirror before he went out.

When Reid heard a knock on his door he put down his book and mumbled "Finally," as he headed over there.

By habit he looked through the peephole and then stiffened with surprise because it was Emily in the hallway and not Morgan. Letting out a steadying breath he opened the door. Getting a better look at her he wondered what was up with her get-up. She had on a straw hat and a Hawaiian lei, in her arms was a paper bag overflowing with items.

"Aloha!" she cried.

"Emily?"

"You said you need to go on vacation but you're being stubborn about it so I thought I'd bring vacation to you. Can I come in? Thanks!" She strolled in. Reaching into her bag she brought out a straw hat and tossed it at him. He fumbled to catch it and the lei she threw at him.

"I have plans tonight."

She gave him a guilty look. "Oh, _that_. Morgan can't make it."

Reid shook his head, sadly. Morgan had been bugging him for months to give it a second chance with Emily. It shouldn't surprise Reid that Morgan would be part of some set up like this. Hell, him and Garcia had probably talked Emily into doing this.

Though he wanted to be mad and yell at her "Do you really think you can just gloss over everything?" he was too busy letting his eyes admire the way her dress clung to her curves. He swallowed hard, remembering how she looked the night he spent sleeping in her bed when she wore just a long t-shirt.

"Wearing a hat and a lei does not make my apartment Hawaii."

"Use your imagination." She stared at him for a moment. "Fine, use my imagination. Just go with it!"

The beseeching way she looked at him made his heart melt and he gave her a little smile.

"Did you bring Spam? I've always wanted to try that."

She grinned, passing him the bag. Soon they had made spam and pineapple h' orderves and non-alcoholic fruity drinks.

"Its actually not bad," Emily said of the Spam. "Not gourmet by a long shot but okay. My mother would turn over in her grave if she knew I was eating Spam."

"Your mother is still alive."

"Oh, yeah, right. _Lucky _me."

"Emily..."

"Please don't Emily me. My mother drives me crazy. She tried to use my injury to get me to quit the FBI and do something, how did she put it, more dignified with my life."

"Well I'm glad you didn't listen to her."

"I never listen to her so fat chance there."

After a long moment of them staring at each other Reid said "Thank you for coming over tonight. I'll probably have more fun with you here pretending we're in Hawaii than at a bar with Morgan."

"Probably?" she joked.

He gave her a small smile. "I...can hardly believe you're here. If you're worried that we aren't as close of friends as we used to be and this is your way of wanting to make up...its okay, Emily. You don't have to make up anything to me, not anymore."

"Um, well, good. I'm glad we're past all that weirdness. I can't really believe I'm here either but I kind of lost a bet with Garcia so..."

"What? You're here cause you lost a bet?"

"Long story. Do you think I'd do something weird like this if Garcia wasn't somehow involved in it?"

"Pretending my apartment is a tropical island is actually pretty strange."

"Its fun though, right? We could both use a vacation. At least for one night."

"So what's next on our vacation? Would you like to play chess?"

She laughed. "Would you go to Hawaii to play chess?"

"I would, yeah. It would relax me."

"Well no chess for you tonight, handsome. Tonight we do Hawaii Prentiss style. Come on." She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the living room. Reaching into her bag she got out an ipod and put it in his base, so the music could be heard through some speakers.

"Do not laugh," she warned him.

"Why would I laugh?"

"PG showed me a video she found online about how to hula." She tried a few moves while he bit back his laughter and then she burst out laughing herself. "I said don't laugh!"

"I'm sorry!" He clamped a hand over his mouth.

She laughed loudly, as she moved closer to him. "Don't think you're getting out of dancing with me."

"I can't...do that." He motioned to her hand movements. "Besides, hula is traditionally a female form of- "

"Statistics won't save you this time," she teased, grabbing his hands and showing him how to move them. "Now swirl your hips."

"Emily," he warned, feeling foolish but also loving the sweet smile on her lips.

"When you're in Hawaii you have to act like the natives do."

For a moment their eyes caught and held as heat simmered to the surface between them, stronger than it had been in months. He moved around her and said "Sorry. I'm not much of a dancer."

"I remember you doing just fine that night in Albuquerque."

"Are you sure you're remembering right?"

"Positive."

"Then you must have made me a better dancer than usual or else you just were too drunk to realize how I was stepping on your toes."

She chuckled before joining him on the couch. After staring at him for a long moment she said "Look, I know we can't go back. I don't expect that at all. I'm just here because I want to feel like we're really friends again."

"Really?"

"Why do you ask it like _that_? What? Do you think I'm lying or something?"

"I don't know. Maybe you_ are_ satisfied with just being friends. Maybe its different for you then it is for me."

"How is it for you?"

"I'm still so angry that things didn't work out between us."

"You are?"

He nodded.

"Reid, I have my pissed off moments too, you know. How much do you think I wish that Doyle never broke out of prison? But he did. And here we are so...I don't know. I know we can't pretend it didn't all happen and everything didn't change because it did but I just want us to be cool again."

"We are, Emily. We're...cool. We're fine, I promise. I've come to accept why you behaved the way you did."

"What does that mean? Behaved the way I did?"

"You didn't trust me...the team. You didn't rely on us. We love you but you didn't turn to us. We trusted you but you didn't return that trust. You shut us all out...You shut me out...but its done and over with now and I accept that is just who you are."

"Wow. That's just who I am, huh? Someone that can't trust?"

"Maybe you can trust but you don't...didn't...trust me when it counted most. And that's why, no matter how much I do want to...kiss you...tonight...and every day...I can't. I can't, Emily, because there isn't that trust between us that I used to believe we had."

"You're not the only one I didn't let in, Reid. I thought by now everyone got that I acted that way because I was trying to protect you all!"

"I know," he said, quietly.

"But...you don't forgive me?"

"I forgive you. Its just that nothing can go further with us if we don't trust each other."

"So I lost your trust?"

"Maybe a little, yeah, but its not me that has this issue."

"I think it is. I think you don't trust me anymore and you'd rather retreat than risk getting hurt again, which I get, it just sucks."

"_Should_ I trust you, Emily?"

"Would I do the same things all over again? Damn right I would if it means that no one on our team would get killed by Doyle. But do I know I hurt a lot of people and let them down by not being straight up about what was going on? Yeah...I see how people look at me now...the trust is broken and it hurts." She looked away.

When she looked back she said "It hurts the most between us. This..." she motioned between them "feeling like everything is broken is killing me." After a moment she went on "And there's not a damn thing I can do about it, is there? Because no matter how much you know that we're great together...and we are, Spencer...we're great...you're too pissed off that I didn't turn to you back then to give us the chance we deserve now."

"Do you seriously blame me for feeling that way?"

"I just hate it. I hate being helpless and when it comes to this...I'm helpless. You're right. I didn't come here tonight hoping to hear you say we could be friends again. Cause friends will never feel like enough now." She stood up. "I should go. I know this idea tonight was kinda lame- "

He stood up. "No, really, I liked it."

"It was lame but I just kept thinking about how you need that vacation the doctors suggested and I wish you would take it but I know you won't. You're stuck in your ways as much as I'm stuck in mine."

With that said she left his home, leaving him there thinking about how being stuck in his ways would mean a lot of lonely nights, instead of fun, exciting ones with Emily.


	7. Chapter 7

**Symbiotic**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Seven**

"You left this at my place last night," Reid said to Prentiss, the morning after their pretend night in Hawaii.

He set her ipod on her desk.

"Oh, thanks," she murmured, looking deep into his eyes instead of at the music player. The moment sizzled with an intimacy and deeper understanding than they had shared in months.

"Emily, thank you again for Hawaii."

"Thank you for indulging my lameness."

"Anytime."

"Oh yeah?" she teased. "You sure about that?"

A smile crept onto his lips. A moment later Morgan showed up "So who got lucky last night?"

Reid ignored him, settling down at his desk, while Prentiss shot Morgan a dirty look.

Morgan said "You two so need to lighten up or else this is gonna be another long week." He walked off to find coffee and then Garcia, two things that always brightened his morning.

Prentiss snuck a look at Reid, smiling when she caught him looking at her out of the side of his eyes. She didn't know what to make of him sometimes but at that moment it felt like things we're as over as she had spent all last night fearing.

God knows she had never understood love or had any luck with it. Every man she met was just another she could do better without- except this man. Finally there was a man in her life, in her heart, she would do anything to make it work with...if only she could figure out a way to make him want to risk his heart on her again.

(_Well I heard there was a secret chord_

_that David played and it pleased the Lord_

_but you don't really care for music, do you?_

_x-x-x-_

_It goes like this:_

_the fourth, the fifth,_

_the minor fall and the major lift._

_The baffled king composing hallelujah_.) (Leonard Cohen)

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Really?" Hotch asked, looking at the baseball cap on Spencer's head turned backwards.

"Garcia did that and threatened I'd be sorry if I turn it around," Reid explained.

The team had come to see Jack Hotchner play baseball. He was on a T-ball team, which meant they used a stand to hold the hall, rather than a pitcher, and they didn't keep score.

Reid said "I thought I'd show the kids the proper way to hold a bat. They're doing it all wrong."

The game was in its second inning and the first had been rather painful to watch.

Hotch asked "What do you know about baseball?"

"It's the one sport I played as a kid. Besides batting is really just physics."

"Have at it. It can't hurt."

After Reid had given a lesson in batting he and Hotch walked to the concession stand for bottles of water.

"How are the headaches coming? You seem like you're feeling better lately?"

"Yeah, somewhat. Its mainly Emily."

Hotch raised an eyebrow.

Reid went on "The headaches come from stress and a major cause of my stress, among other things, was worrying about things between me and her. This last week...I think things are getting better. We talked about everything last Sunday."

"And it helped clear the air?"

"It did."

"Good."

"I'm just...I don't know, Hotch. I guess I'm just not sure I want to start something again with her if she doesn't really trust me."

"Trust is fragile but you can't expect to earn hers if you won't offer her yours."

"I did. I am."

Hotch raised an eyebrow, leaving Spencer to think about if he really was offering her that trust again or if he was holding it back to protect himself. She had laid it on the line for him. After six months of not dating, and only one week of dating back during winter, she still wanted to be with him. She had made it clear that her feelings hadn't faded away and that it hurt to be apart from him. She had broke down and laid her heart on the line.

If he was any sort of man, a man who wanted her back, he had to do the same for her.

The time for holding back had to be over if he wanted to build something with Emily. And there was no doubt in his heart or mind that is what he wanted. He had wanted that desperately since the first time they kissed- after that movie date that he hadn't even meant to be a date.

It was the best accidental date of his life.

(_Your faith was strong but you needed proof. _

_You saw her bathing on the roof._

_Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you._

_-x-x-x_

_She tied you to a kitchen chair._

_She broke your throne and she cut your hair_

_and from your lips she drew the hallelujah_.)

XXXXXXXXXXX

Emily was in the middle of talking to JJ about Henry's preschool teacher when Reid walked up behind her, at the baseball game.

"Excuse me, JJ," Reid apologized, drawing Emily's attention away.

She looked at him expectantly, wondering what he wanted to tell her. All week long they had been getting along better than ever, with many moments filled with thick, needy sexual tension that it was getting harder and harder to walk away from.

Still she was shocked when he threaded his fingers through her hair, titled her head up and then leaned down to lay a kiss on her right there in the middle of Jack's baseball game. Smiling against Reid's lips she returned his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck.

_(Maybe there is a God above_

_but all I ever learned from love_

_was how to shoot somebody who out drew you._

_-x-x-_

_Well its not a cry that I hear at night._

_No, its not someone who has seen the light._

_-x-x_

_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah._

_Hallelujah._

_Hallelujah._

_Hallelujah._)

As his lips eased away from hers, she brought her hands up to caress his face, ignoring the cheers of their friends around them.

Rubbing her thumb over his lips she said "You have a little lipstick on you. There. Got it."

His cheeks reddened a little. "Em-"

"We can talk later, okay?"

Reid nodded. He sat down next to her. They held hands.

As Emily turned to JJ to continue their conversation, Morgan came up behind Reid and gripped his shoulders. "Look at you, kid! Getting your groove on in the middle of the day, not caring who sees you. I taught you well."

"Leave him be," Penelope ordered.

"Or what?" Morgan teased. "Will you spank me?"

Emily couldn't stop smiling as she squeezed Reid's hand, anxious for the game to end so they could get away from the crowd and really talk. She had practically stopped hoping they would ever kiss again, and then this week she started to hope a little but never expected Reid to kiss her like he just had, out of the blue.

She warmed at the memory of his lips against hers, knowing that he wanted her enough to forgive all her past mistakes and let the whole world see he wasn't giving up on her.

That was surely as close to love as any man had ever shown her. Others had said they loved her but she couldn't feel it. In Reid's kiss today she felt love...it was real and hers, finally.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed this fic.

**Symbiotic**

**Reid and Prentiss**

**Chapter Eight**

Jack Hotchner begged them all to come back to his house for a cook out after his baseball game. Though all Emily really wanted was to be alone with Reid she couldn't turn down such a cute little boy.

Later that evening, as they were leaving the get together, she said to Reid "Can we go to my place? I need to feed Sergio."

He nodded. They shared a long look.

Emily leaned against her car. "I know we need to have a serious talk and we can do that. If we end up fighting then we fight. We should say whatever we want to or need to say. Don't hold back anything. But at the end of it, just promise me one thing, okay?"

"I can't promise before I know what it is."

"Promise that you'll stay over tonight. Even if we still have a long way to go before things are fixed between us I just don't want to spend another night...or at least tonight...away from you."

"I don't want that either."

She smiled at him before pulling him close for a kiss. Afterwards they got in their own cars and drove to her place.

XXXXXXXXX

When Reid came to Emily's apartment, after she got done feeding her cat, she took his hand and started to lead him back to her bedroom. "Lets talk in bed."

"Don't you think that gives you an unfair advantage?"

She chuckled. "Only if we talk while I'm naked, which could be arranged."

He went speechless, imagining that, while she chuckled again. When she got to the bedroom she turned on a small lamp and then faced Reid, helping him to undress slowly, which she had never done before. He slowly helped her out of her clothes, till they both stood there in just underwear.

Pulling her into his arms they shared a long, lingering kiss and then fell back onto the bed together, desperately kissing and caressing, forgetting all about their planned talk, as their bodies came together. Cries of pleasure escaped both their lips. Tender kisses were exchanged all throughout until they were still again, their limbs still tangled together.

"You kissed me," she said, in a dazed tone, after they caught their breaths.

He nibbled on her throat. "Many, many times, yes."

"I meant earlier...at the park...I can't believe you just came up to me and kissed me. What brought that on?"

He propped himself up so he could stare deep into her eyes. Gently he kissed her again before rolling off her, tucking her body against his side, amazed at how natural it had felt to make love to her. It was awkward or weird, like with other women, and he wasn't wondering if he was doing it right or if she liked his moves. It just flowed naturally and beautifully, as if they had made love thousands of times before.

"I kissed you because...for months now," Reid said, as he stroked Emily's hair away from her face "I've been thinking that we couldn't date because I don't have your trust but then I realized that if we date I could earn the level of trust I so badly want you to have in me."

She smiled and gave him a quick peck. "God, I'm glad this happened."

"Me too, Emily."

Placing her hand on the side of his face, tenderly caressing him, she gave him another soft kiss. "We still need to talk about everything but not today. Today all I want is this." They shared another tender kiss. "This is heaven, Spencer."

"Each person does have their own version of what the afterlife might be like, if they believe in that, so I guess this can be yours."

"Gee, thanks for the permission!" she joked, cuddling against him. "This is so mine. So mine. Now lets see if we can make it yours too." She reached down and took hold of him, dragging a moan from his lips, and they started to make love again, which they did all through the night, dozing some just to wake and come together over and over again.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day Emily woke up to find Spencer spooning her from behind. She knew he was awake because his fingers were softly gliding over the scar on her stomach.

A smile curved her lips, as she cuddled back against him, feeling his hard body against her and his chest rising and falling with each breath.

"Mmm," she said "I could get used to waking up like this."

"Will you make me one promise?"

Hearing how serious his tone was she rolled over, so she could look him in the eyes. "Anything. Anything if it means I can wake up with you again."

"It does."

"Then name your price, Spencer."

"If you ever get in trouble again, don't shut me out."

"I won't. That's a promise. Even though I did that cause I felt I had to I wouldn't want to risk losing this and I know I will if I ever shut you out again."

He held up his hand and she laced her fingers through his. He lay soft kisses on her shoulders and then her throat. "I knew I loved you the first time that I kissed you."

She gasped. He raised his head and their eyes met. She wore an amazed expression. Her voice was slightly choked up when she whispered "Did I just hear you say...?"

"I love you, Emily. Yep. You heard me right." He raised his eyebrows. "Too soon?"

She pounced on him, pushing him back onto the mattress and straddling him. Greedily she kissed him, her joy apparent in her touch and kiss. He didn't hear the actual words till later when her sweaty body lay on top of his.

"BTW, I love you too."

"BTW?"

"By the way."

"Oh..." then he smiled, as he stroked her hair. "The only BT I know is from BTK but I didn't think you meant that." BTK is a serial killer.

She slapped his chest playfully. "No, not quite."

Rolling off him they kept cuddling, sharing kisses and caresses, before deciding to spend the day just lounging in bed. It was a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

After all they had a lot of time lost to make up for and a lot of ground to cover before they were as strong as they both wanted them to be. And then there would be no question about if there was enough trust between them.

The trust was growing with every second they admitted that they would both do anything it took to make it work between them. This connection they had was worth the price of pain, the risk of heartbreak and the fear of letting someone deep inside to those places that had always been secret- the dark places like where memories of Doyle and Hankel thrived.

The dark places suddenly lost their power when light was shined on them. Emily Prentiss had learned in her forty years of life to make it all on her own...until she was kissed by a man who made her realize that being alone would always be lonely without him.

Suddenly she couldn't make it alone anymore. And she never wanted to try again. Instead she'd throw her whole self into learning how to make it in this life with a partner by her side.

Now that she had Reid back she never planned to let this genius man of hers get away again.

THE END


End file.
